Comedic Wisdom

With a stop light, green means 'go' and yellow means 'slow down'. With a banana, however, it is quite the opposite. Yellow means 'go', green means 'whoa, slow down', and red means 'where the heck did you get that banana?'- Mitch Hedberg

Movie Star Wisdom

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. - Elizabeth Taylor

Psychologist Wisdom

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. - Dr. Joyce Brothers

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations. - Thornton Wilder

Novelist Wisdom

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. - Herman Wouk

Newspaper Columnist Wisdom

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L. M. Boyd

Journalistic Wisdom

Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. - Anna Quindlen

Blogging Wisdom

I write because I'm afraid to say some things out loud. - Real Live Preacher

Columnist Wisdom

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur. - Doug Larson

Author Wisdom

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. - Ernest Hemingway

Philanthropic Wisdom

People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents. - Andrew Carnegie

Writer Producer Wisdom

I am going to concentrate on what's important in life. I'm going to strive everyday to be a kind and generous and loving person. I'm going to keep death right here, so that anytime I even think about getting angry at you or anybody else, I'll see death and I'll remember. - Diane Frolov

Psychoanalytical Wisdom

Society expects man to be a passive social animal who believes like the People of the Field in "Jurgen" that "to do what you always have done" and "what is expected of you" are the twin rules of life. This, of course, is not true. The wanton crucifixion of impulses, the unnecessary blocking and frustration of the drives and urges, are an evil that reflects itself in sophistication, ennui and boredom, dissatisfaction, melancholy, fatigue, anxiety and neurosis. - Abraham Myerson

Personal Enrichment Wisdom

Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deadness. - Shakti Gawain

Sprituality Wisdom

Religion is for those who don't want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those of us who have already been through it. - Anonymous

Spiritual Wisdom

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Academic Wisdom

If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it. - Emerson Pugh

Ficticious Wisdom

There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. - Doctor Who

French Author Wisdom

We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Universalist Wisdom

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. - Samuel McChord Crothers

First Lady Wisdom

If someone betrays you once, it’s their fault; if they betray you twice, it’s your fault. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Newspaper Columnist Wisdom

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Author Wisdom

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. - Franklin P. Jones

Playwrite Wisdom

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. - Jean Kerr

44th Presidential Wisdom

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama

Columnist Wisdom

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything. - Herb Caen

Cartoonist Wisdom

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." - Charles M. Schulz

British Science Fiction Author Wisdom

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Mathematician Philosopher Wisdom

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. - Bertrand Russell

Pro Basketball Player Wisdom

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. - Mo Udall

Artistic Director Wisdom

Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. - Barbara Tober

Genetisist Wisdom

I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my motivation is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things. - J. B. S. Haldane

Dead President Wisdom

It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong. - Abraham Lincoln

Philosopher Wisdom

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. - Voltaire

Ancient Greek Wisdom

Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. - Dandemis

Literary Critic Wisdom

There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience. - Anatole Broyard

Canadian Novelist Wisdom

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness. - Robertson Davies

Theological Wisdom

I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers. - Kahlil Gibran

Psychiatric Wisdom

There is no need to go to India or anywhere else to find peace. You will find that deep place of silence right in your room, your garden or even your bathtub. - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Columnist Wisdom for New Years Eve....

An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves. - Bill Vaughan

Unknown Wisdom

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

actor, film director, producer, writer and comedian wisdom

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water. - Carl Reiner

Philosphical Wisdom

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Psychiatric Wisdom

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

Writer Wisdom

There are no wise few. Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob. - G. K. Chesterton

Poetic Wisdom

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

Poetic Wisdom

It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. - Charles Baudelaire

Mannerly Wisdom

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. - Judith Martin

News Anchor Wisdom

North Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

1st Earl of Beaconsfield Wisdom

I repeat...that all power is a trust; that we are accountable for its exercise; that from the people, and for the people all springs, and all must exist. - Benjamin Disraeli

Philosopher Wisdom

A person may cause evil to others not only by his actions but by his inaction, and in either case he is justly accountable to them for the injury. - John Stuart Mill

Comdeic/Actor/Singer Wisdom

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Fantasy Writer Wisdom

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rick Cook

Columnist Wisdom

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity. - Bill Vaughan

Comedic Seasonal Wisdom

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. - Henny Youngman

Poetic Wisdom

But by men with the hearts of Vikings, and the simple faith of a child;Desperate, strong and resistless, unthrottled by fear or defeat,Them will I gild with my treasure, them will I glut with my meat. - Robert Service, "The Law of the Yukon"

Slovenian Wisdom

Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. - Slovenian Proverb

Roman Wisdom

I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author if the line is good. - Seneca

Reclusive Novelist Wisdom

I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J. D. Salinger

Paleontologist Wisdom

The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question. - Stephen Jay Gould

Comedic Wisdom

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner

1st Earl of Beaconsfield Wisdom

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. - Benjamin Disraeli

1st Viscount St Alban Wisdom

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. - Sir Francis Bacon

Madame Bovary Wisdom

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost. - Gustave Flaubert

Comedic Wisdom

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. - George Burns

French Novelist Wisdom

I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer. - Colette

German Philosopher Wisdom

If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Swiss Wisdom

Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them. – Suzanne Necker

More Humorist Wisdom

Of all the creatures that were made, man is the most detestable. Of the entire brood he is the only one--the solitary one--that possesses malice. That is the basest of all instincts, passions, vices--the most hateful. He is the only creature that has pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. Also--in all the list he is the only creature that has a nasty mind. - Mark Twain

humorist wisdom

If you make people think they’re thinking, they’ll love you; but if you really make them think, they’ll hate you. – Don Marquis

Science Fiction Wisdom

The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. – John Sladek

Transcendentalist Wisdom

Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. – Henry David Thoreau

Hungarian Socialite Wisdom

I know nothing about sex because I was always married. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

French General Wisdom

The graveyards are full of indispensable men. – Charles de Gaulle

Management Consultant Wisdom

So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work. – Peter Drucker

Author Wisdom

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. – Douglas Adams

Pulitzer Prize Columnist Wisdom

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. – Ellen Goodman

Screenwriter Wisdom

Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all. – William Goldman

Philisophical Wisdom

The man who insists on seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. – Henri-Frederic Amiel

Emmy Award Winning Wisdom...

I always wanted a happy ending….Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity. – Gilda Radner

Philosopher Wisdom

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something in the absence of good grounds for belief; he will be satisfied with bad ones. – Bertrand Russell

Romantic Poet Wisdom

Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people. – James Russell Lowell

Sci Fi Writer Wisdom

Actions have consequences…first rule of life. And the second rule is this…you are the only one responsible for your own actions. – Holly Lisle

Pulizter Prize-Winning Wisdom

There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which if it does not bring joy, can bring happiness. – Pearl Buck

Humorist Wisdom

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions. – Evan Esar

Cartoonist Wisdom

The best way to get approval is not to need it. – Hugh Macleod

Journalist Wisdom

In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right. – Ellen Goodman

Self-Improvement Lecturer Wisdom

If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. – Dale Carnegie

Activist Wisdom

Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Anonymous Wisdom

People who live in darkness are always attracted to those who are lit from within. When they get close enough to hear your message the darkness in their hearts takes over. Let them go, and continue to live in the light. - Anonymous

Journalist Wisdom

"To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, singular power of self-respect." – Joan Didion

Comedic Wisdom

I’m not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose…it’ll be much harder to detect. – George Carlin

Prussian Royalty Wisdom

Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made. – Otto von Bismarck

Media Maven Wisdom

Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobodies going to know whether you did it or not. – Oprah Winfrey

Comedic Wisdom

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end. – Jerry Seinfeld

Video Game Creator Wisdom

Deal with the consequences of your actions, ‘cause life ain’t no video game. Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata

Poetic Wisdom

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it – Ogden Nash

Poetic Wisdom

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. – e.e.cummings

US Presidential Wisdom

I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell. Harry S. Truman

Unknown Wisdom

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. - Unknown